Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Leave it to the Germans lol
Safe sex: Pop your penis in a can
From correspondents in Berlin
December 01, 2006 08:10am
GERMAN sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.
Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said today the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.
"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said.
"We're very serious."
Mr Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.
"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said.
"We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."
Mr Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds
From correspondents in Berlin
December 01, 2006 08:10am
GERMAN sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.
Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said today the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.
"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said.
"We're very serious."
Mr Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.
"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said.
"We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."
Mr Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds
Friday, December 08, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
christmas jokes
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
****************************************************
damn
A little kid sits on Santa's lap, and Santa says, "What would you like for Christmas?"
The kid says, "A damn swingset."
Santa says, "You'll have to ask nicer than that if you want Santa to bring you presents. Let's try again. What else would you like?"
The kid says, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
Santa says, "That's no way to talk to Santa. One more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
The boy thinks for a minute, and then he says, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
Santa lifts the boy off his lap and goes to talk to the kid's parents. He tells them what the kid said, and then says, "I know how to stop it. Don't get him anything for Christmas except dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo in the backyard where he wants the swingset, put another pile in the side yard where he wants the sandbox, and another pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That should make him change his tune."
Christmas morning the kid goes downstairs to open his presents, and there aren't any. He runs out the back door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the side door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the front door, looks around, and comes back in, shaking his head.
His father says, "What's wrong, son?"
The kid says, "Santa brought me a damn dog, but I can't find him."
******************************************************
Remember Christmas For Entry
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something "Christmassy" to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell
they go.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed
in.
The second man presents a candy cane, so he too is allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent
Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
****************************************************
damn
A little kid sits on Santa's lap, and Santa says, "What would you like for Christmas?"
The kid says, "A damn swingset."
Santa says, "You'll have to ask nicer than that if you want Santa to bring you presents. Let's try again. What else would you like?"
The kid says, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
Santa says, "That's no way to talk to Santa. One more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
The boy thinks for a minute, and then he says, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
Santa lifts the boy off his lap and goes to talk to the kid's parents. He tells them what the kid said, and then says, "I know how to stop it. Don't get him anything for Christmas except dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo in the backyard where he wants the swingset, put another pile in the side yard where he wants the sandbox, and another pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That should make him change his tune."
Christmas morning the kid goes downstairs to open his presents, and there aren't any. He runs out the back door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the side door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the front door, looks around, and comes back in, shaking his head.
His father says, "What's wrong, son?"
The kid says, "Santa brought me a damn dog, but I can't find him."
******************************************************
Remember Christmas For Entry
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something "Christmassy" to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell
they go.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed
in.
The second man presents a candy cane, so he too is allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent
Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
Monday, November 27, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Holden Blimp
Last week my hubby went up in the Holden Airship (blimp) and was bowled over with the experience. He said it was like sailing, and in fact you ride the breeze, including turbulence.
One of the radio jocks here, mentioned it on air last week too, said his wife said "Look at the blimp! It's awesome" and he said "No! It's a big ad," and he refused to look at it. FFS!
Now hubby organised through a lot of string pulling to get this radio jock up in the air, but this bloke has again refused, saying "it's just an ad" oh come on now, get over yourself and the high moral ground, and take the opportunity when it's offered. Makes a great story over dinner if nothing else?
I can't understand people who are so pure and moral that they cant bear to sully themselves with a grand opportunity when you are given one on a plate.
Obviously we know that he cant mention the blimp on air, that’s wasn’t the bloody point, we don’t need to push Holden’s advertising along, not our problem, we were just being friendly and open.
Hey radio jock, don’t get a nosebleed perched up on the higher moral ground.
Sheeesh!
You just can’t help some people.
See video here.....
One of the radio jocks here, mentioned it on air last week too, said his wife said "Look at the blimp! It's awesome" and he said "No! It's a big ad," and he refused to look at it. FFS!
Now hubby organised through a lot of string pulling to get this radio jock up in the air, but this bloke has again refused, saying "it's just an ad" oh come on now, get over yourself and the high moral ground, and take the opportunity when it's offered. Makes a great story over dinner if nothing else?
I can't understand people who are so pure and moral that they cant bear to sully themselves with a grand opportunity when you are given one on a plate.
Obviously we know that he cant mention the blimp on air, that’s wasn’t the bloody point, we don’t need to push Holden’s advertising along, not our problem, we were just being friendly and open.
Hey radio jock, don’t get a nosebleed perched up on the higher moral ground.
Sheeesh!
You just can’t help some people.
See video here.....
Friday, October 13, 2006
Saving water? Do both the federal and state governments think putting water restrictions on the general public will solve our water crisis?
Industry and farmers use most of the water and yes we need both, they just need to manage it far better. The evaporation from Open channel irrigation uses almost as much water as gets pumped onto the crops. Are we so well off that we can grow crops like rice, wheat, and almonds for export? We should grow what we consume first then look at the resources we have. Its not crops we sell its water, sounds left field? Think about it. The government needs to take the hard line, build dams if necessary, and make industry more responsible. Don’t put the blame on the householders totally. Why won’t they do this? Because it’s not a vote catcher.
Industry and farmers use most of the water and yes we need both, they just need to manage it far better. The evaporation from Open channel irrigation uses almost as much water as gets pumped onto the crops. Are we so well off that we can grow crops like rice, wheat, and almonds for export? We should grow what we consume first then look at the resources we have. Its not crops we sell its water, sounds left field? Think about it. The government needs to take the hard line, build dams if necessary, and make industry more responsible. Don’t put the blame on the householders totally. Why won’t they do this? Because it’s not a vote catcher.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
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